Meadowlark Story Society assignment: You are the lawyer in a divorce case. The only point of contention is custody of the dog. Argue that your client should get the pup.

With all due respect, Judge Kanine, this is not a case in which there was shared custody of said animal. Poopoo has always been Morgan’s dog.

When Morgan and Alex met five years ago, Poopoo was already two years old. Morgan adopted the pet as a six-month old rescue from an agency with which her family was involved. In keeping the dog’s given name, Poopoo, I think you’ll agree that Morgan only had this dog’s need for stability at heart. Morgan had dreams of a greyhound named Flash as a child; memories of watching dog races as a young girl with her family cemented her love of animals, rescue, and speedy pets. When the family befriended a greyhound rescuer ten years ago, it was only a matter of time before Morgan would have a chance to save some sad animal’s life.

That time arrived just over seven years ago. When Poopoo, a young pet with housetraining issues became available for adoption, she was a hard sell. Who wanted a greyhound who couldn’t learn to shit outside? Well, Morgan did, and Morgan adopted her without a second thought, abandoning her dream of a pet named Flash. Morgan felt that Poopoo needed to remain Poopoo if she was ever going to learn to become comfortable in someone’s care and poopoo outside. She’s a lovely dog, no disputing that. Just because Alex came along and was successful in training the dog to go outside doesn’t mean he should have custody.

Don’t you agree?